What your car says about you...


From: efp@hh.hhill.com (Edward Peterson)
What your car says about you...

Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX - I am impotent
Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have
a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school
zones
Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes
when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all
Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse- I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280
days per year.
Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
Lamborghini Countach- I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you
ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB- I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off
the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo- I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me
Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
Isuzu
Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife